The Beginning
Thursday, May 22, 2025, I dropped Kaydance off at school at 7:15am. She was on the girls softball team for Walkerton District Community School. Everyone else was already there, we may have been the last ones to arrive. Kaydance jumped out of the vehicle, grabbed her bags, said a quick goodbye to me and ran to the waiting coach’s vehicles. They were parked at the front of the school and I had pulled up right beside them, blocking the way through for anyone else. I wanted to get out of the vehicle and give her a hug and say good luck, but someone else pulled up behind me and honked their horn a few times. I began to pull away, stopped and rolled down the window and yelled out to Kaydance saying “good luck kid, I love you. Play hard, see you tomorrow night.” She yelled back “love you too mom!”. The car behind me honked again so I pulled through and left. As I pulled through, the car behind me that was honking at me, rushing my goodbye to my daughter, sped through the parking lot of the school and around the back. I remember thinking at the time while I pulled out of the parking lot, “what is the rush at this time in the morning? I get people have to work, so do I, but I’m trying to say goodbye to my kid. Some people are ignorant.” I wish I had known that would be the last time I would say goodbye to Kaydance, the last time I would get the chance to hug her. If I had known, I would have held up all the traffic in the world to get out and hug her goodbye.
Friday, May 23, 2025
I honestly don’t remember a lot from this day leading up to getting the phone call. I remember a text conversation. I was at work and something just felt off. I felt down in the dumps and couldn’t figure out why. Then Kaydance texted, it was as if she knew I needed something to smile about. Her text read, “omg mom, they put me in as backcatcher. I’ve never done that in my life. We’re screwed.” I giggled and wrote back, “Just try your best. You’ll do great!” Later on I got another text, “we lost that game because of me mom. I can’t believe I let my team down.” I replied “don’t beat yourself up about it. They knew you had never done that position before, they shouldn’t have put you in there if they wanted to win that game.” She texted back right away, “the girls are being so good about it. I won’t beat myself up.” I texted back telling her to give it all she’s got in the next games and I couldn’t wait to hear all about the whole tournament when she got home that night.
I don’t remember much after that text conversation from that day until I got the phone call. I had taken the boys to Walmart to get groceries and Wade needed dress pants for his grade 8 Graduation. I remember feeling anxious as we went up and down all the aisles, really anxious, not knowing why. I felt like I was late for something. I kept checking the time on my phone, I kept thinking I should have heard from Kaydance by now. She was supposed to text me when they were on their way home and again when they were getting close. They were supposed to arrive back at the school around 6:30pm but there were no texts and it was 6:20pm. Maybe they stopped somewhere for food? Knowing Kaydance, she would make them stop for food. I told the boys we needed to go home and unload the groceries because Kaydance would be texting any minute saying she was back at the school waiting for me to pick her up. We paid, went out to the vehicle and loaded the bags into the trunk. We all got in the vehicle and I checked my phone one more time – three missed texts and five missed phone calls from our friend. I got back out of the vehicle thinking he had an argument and I didn’t want the boys to hear it. I called him back and that is where our worst nightmare began. In the parking lot of Walmart in Hanover.
The Aftermath
Losing a child is the worst nightmare a parent can ever go through. We aren’t supposed to outlive our children, they are supposed to outlive us. In the early days, we could barely speak or move our feet. With the help of family, friends and Rhody’s Funeral Home, we were able to celebrate Kaydance’s Life beautifully. The service was as perfect as something so horrible could be, Chesley Ball Diamond was made into Kaydance. She was placed at Home Plate and surrounded by some of her important belongings that showed her personality. There were big banners, a blanket and beautiful service cards made for us. Her favourite songs played in the background as guests made their way through to see us and give us their condolences. When it came time to do the actual service, the immediate family were seated in front of Home Plate, everyone else stood. None of us could get up to speak, we couldn’t speak, we couldn’t move. The Funeral Director that had taken such good care of us in the planning stages got up and spoke for us. She played “Never Not Remember You” by Cooper Allen then read from a script that we had prepared. There were tears, wails, laughter, sighs, and hugs. I don’t know the exact number of people that came to her service, but I know there was a sea of people that reached somewhere between 500-700.
Over the next month, we planned Kaydance’s 17th birthday. She wanted a Hawaiian Luau in the backyard with her closest friends where they could have a fire and be typical teenagers. We decided she would have her Hawaiian Luau but it would be bigger than she could have ever imagined. We rented Elmwood Community Centre, hired a poutine bar, pig roast, and cash bar, gathered friends and family to help with decorations, music, photos, side dishes, cake, and ball games. Everyone who loved her came to celebrate her, there must have been 400 people there. It was the most perfect day celebrating Kaydance, exactly how she would have wanted. July 1, 2025, Kaydance turned 17 even though she had passed away before she could have her birthday.
After Kaydance’s Rad 17th Hawaiian Banger, we decided we wanted to celebrate her every year and honour her in some way. We knew we couldn’t do a huge party every year, it just isn’t realistic. But we wanted to do something. The bar we had hired were gracious and let us take the empties from the party. I was sitting on the deck, sorting and counting them when a thought came to mind…
Finding Passion
What started as an idea to collect alcohol empties to raise funds for Kaydance’s two favourite school programs, quickly grew into something more, something that would let her name and memory go on forever.
Kaydance was always an active child but rarely with sports. She dabbled with soccer and gymnastics when she was little but neither really stuck. She was active in different ways: fishing, biking, camping, gardening, hiking, going for runs, bouncing on the trampoline, etc. She loved the outdoors, it was her sanctuary. She was also always keeping her hands busy and very creative. She would paint, bead, help with maintaining and building things around the house, draw and sketch, create things from nature pieces, etc. She was always curious in how things worked, why things are built the way they are, and what makes things go. When Kaydance began grade 9 in John Diefenbaker Senior School in Hanover, she took her first trades class where she had the opportunity to try carpentry, welding, and auto. After her first year of high school, she decided she wanted a change and we switched her over to Walkerton District Community School in Walkerton. This is where we watched our daughter truly flourish into the young woman she was. She immersed herself in sports, athletics, and trades. She successfully helped rally and push for the girls rugby team to be restarted, played on the girls volleyball team and softball team, was a call-in for the girls soccer team, and ran hurdles for the track team. She earned a spot in the WEAT class (Walkerton Exceptional Athlete Training) and took Women’s Personal Fitness and even earned Top Mark in WEAT. She threw herself into the Trades classes, taking Carpentry, Auto and Welding where she learned how to use so many different tools and machines and create amazing projects. Earning Top Mark in Auto finalized her passion, she was going to work in the Trades. Outside of school, she joined the first girl’s Big Bruce Volleyball Team during the winter and decided to fill her summer with softball, joining the Tara Twins ISA all girls team. Kaydance grew into this extraordinary athlete who knew how to change her own oil, weld with tig and mig, use saws, and build things. She was outgoing, social, loud, obnoxious, stubborn, determined, kind, caring, hilarious, and passionate.
The Legacy
The Kaydance Ford Athletic & Trades Foundation is the brand of Kaydance. It is her love of sports, passion for the Trades, and heart for her community all wrapped up together. We have poured her spirit into this foundation in hopes of helping the current and future generations find themselves and have opportunities like our daughter did. Selfishly, we want Kaydance’s name and memory to never be forgotten, we want her to be remembered forever. So we have given her a legacy that will hopefully grow and be able to help so many teenagers find their way through life, find their passions, learn important skills, and flourish.
We fundraise year round to help provide funds for students in need, sports teams in need, trades classes in need, and school staff in need. One of our biggest concerns and what drives us to fundraise is putting kids on buses. Buses are the safest transportation for sports teams to travel to their away games and tournaments but our rural schools cannot afford them due to budget cuts and government cuts. Our students deserve the safest transportation when they are travelling to represent their school and their community. Our rural schools also have a hard time affording tools, materials, and machinery needed in Trades classes. Our students deserve to learn with safe tools and machinery, in a safe environment. Our rural schools cannot afford to replace much of their sports equipment and gym equipment. Our students deserve to have what they need to play sports and be active. So we are stepping up, in memory and in honour of our daughter, Kaydance – the inspiring athlete and tradeswoman that she was.
Kaydance Ford Athletic & Trades Foundation 